Joke thread 2021

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AH1951
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Re: Joke thread 2021

Post by AH1951 »

My wife began crying at the breakfast table this morning.
I asked what was wrong.
She told me I've never really loved her, not in all the 27 years we've been together.
I asked why she would say such a thing.
She said, "If you really loved ME, you would have married somebody else!"
RogerBrotton
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Re: Joke thread 2021

Post by RogerBrotton »

Astra and Zenaka ?
....and I thought Jensens were high maintenance :roll:
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RAP72
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Re: Joke thread 2021

Post by RAP72 »

thought someone might use this as their avatar.
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AH1951
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Re: Joke thread 2021

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colin7673
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Re: Joke thread 2021

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True
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Only working half a day now.
http://www.jensensontour.co.uk
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Kevin Birch
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Re: Joke thread 2021

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My Toys: Lotus Cortina MK2.RangeRover P38, Yam inflatable, Saab 9-3 Convertible.
Mk1 Interceptor, 115/3067
AH1951
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Re: Joke thread 2021

Post by AH1951 »

TOP TIP
Instead of travelling all the way to Bardsey Island in Wales, in order to experience living without electricity and Wi-Fi, just switch off your electricity at the mains supply and stay home.
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Grant
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Re: Joke thread 2021

Post by Grant »

AH1951 wrote: Sat Aug 14, 2021 4:14 am TOP TIP
Instead of travelling all the way to Bardsey Island in Wales, in order to experience living without electricity and Wi-Fi, just switch off your electricity at the mains supply and stay home.
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AH1951
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Re: Joke thread 2021

Post by AH1951 »

TOP TIP:
If it looks like a family member is going to ask for a ride somewhere, quickly rush outside, lift the bonnet, and start removing parts so it looks like there's a big repair job going on.
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Grant
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Re: Joke thread 2021

Post by Grant »

AH1951 wrote: Sun Aug 15, 2021 12:38 pm TOP TIP:
If it looks like a family member is going to ask for a ride somewhere, quickly rush outside, lift the bonnet, and start removing parts so it looks like there's a big repair job going on.
Image Your tips really are top tips AdrianManImage
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AH1951
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Re: Joke thread 2021

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TOP TIP:
If your spouse asks you to do any job around the house, do it immediately without complaint and with feigned enthusiasm, but make such a dreadful mess of it that you never get asked to do anything again.
AH1951
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Re: Joke thread 2021

Post by AH1951 »

TOP TIP:
As going on holiday at this time of global anxiety and stress is so expensive and confusing, just put the car in the garage, keep all the house lights turned off, buy or borrow a tanning lamp, and hide in the basement or back room for a few weeks, copying photos off the internet of exotic holiday destinations so you can e-mail to your friends and pretend you've been there. Don't answer the phone.
You'll be safe from Covid, too.
You know it makes sense.
:roll:
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RAP72
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Re: Joke thread 2021

Post by RAP72 »

Two Mafia hitmen are walking deep into a forest in the middle of the night.

One of them says, "I gotta admit I'm scared out here."

The other replies, "You're scared? I gotta walk back alone!"

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AH1951
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Re: Joke thread 2021

Post by AH1951 »

Does this screenshot of a VW remind you of Covid?

It should do.

It's the Volkswagen Variant.

🙄
.
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Grant
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Re: Joke thread 2021

Post by Grant »

NO, but it rereminds me of my Dad, he had one when I was about 5 years old Adrian..Great Memories :P
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